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June 27, 2010 - What Happens When Faith is Lost?

by Father Edward L. Beck, C.P.

Do you think you know my faith because I wear this collar? You probably assume certain things about me because I'm a priest right. Well, you may be wrong. At least that's what a new study entitled PREACHERS WHO ARE NOT BELIEVERS in the journal EVOLUTIONARY PSYCHOLOGY says. They say pastors can't be themselves with their congregations or even their colleagues because of the expectations and assumptions heaped on them. And for many,thatthe secret they are hiding is a loss of faith. Now, it's a small study, but the Protestant pastors who participated say that they tell their congregations one thing, but believe another. That they have to hide a lack of faith because they feel they can't share it.And that they stay in ministry because they're near retirement age and have to put food on the table. While this is a bit disconcerting, it may sound worse than it really is. After all, how hard is it to believe all the tenets of any faith perfectly? I mean just because I'm a priest doesn't mean that I've exactlyinternalized and accepted every iota of Church teaching. I have my struggles and my doubts. I have my moments when I question my faith and my commitment to God and the Church. Seems to me that's just human. But I've usually not hesitated to share that, even from a pulpit. I think parishioners are adults and they can handle it. My experience is that they don't want perfection in their ministers. They want someone living honestly and authentically, somehow sharing life's struggles with them. Yes, we look to our Church leaders for guidance and we want them to be better versed in the tradition and Scripture than perhaps we are. But it's an illusion to think that because we stand in a pulpit or at an altar that we have it all together. Certainly, the recent struggles in the Roman Catholic Church have put that fallacy to rest. That said, I do admit that sometimes I feel that I have to know more than I actually do and be the one to wave the banner of faithfulness with others are lagging a bit. But I don't see that as dishonesty. I see it as an attempt to lean into what I deep down believe to be true but don't always have the internal resources to fully live. Sometimes the more we speak a truth the better we are able eventually to embody it. I've actually been inspired by my own homilies. Not in a solipsistic, egotistical way. But, in a way that says, now preacher, live out those words better. So maybe my Protestant minister friends need to just cut themselves some slack. And maybe we all need to cut each other a little slack as well.

To watch Father Beck give the above Reflection, click here.