Past Reflections

Find past weekly reflections by date

November 29, 2009 - The Thanksgiving Of Listening

by Father Edward L. Beck, C.P.

Yes, we all know that Thursday was Thanksgiving, that day to stuff our faces with food and our hearts with gratitude for more than food. But do you know what Friday was? No, I don’t mean Black Friday, that consumerist gorge day. The day after Thanksgiving was the 2nd Annual NATIONAL LISTENING DAY. Yep, now there’s a day devoted to listening. Study Corp, the organization sponsoring the day, wants us all to take some time to listen to and record a conversation with someone important to us: grandparent, friend, teacher. All to preserve a loved ones story. Now, that’s a nice idea, but I also see the day as an opportunity to hone our listening skills. Because so many of us don’t seem to have any. Haven’t you been with a friend or loved one who you can tell has checked out and isn’t listening to a word you’re saying? They’re looking at you and nodding their heads, but they’re a mile away. Or the people who are formulating their rebuttal the whole time you’re speaking, never really hearing what you’re saying. Or how about the ones you can see can’t wait to tell you THEIR story, while all the time missing yours. To say nothing of the ones who are texting on their blackberries while you’re talking to them, pretending to half-listen but not even coming close. I’m afraid in our over-stimulated and A-D-D ladened world, we’re losing the capacity to really listen to and hear one another. To truly BE with someone in the moment. It’s one of the greatest gifts we can give a person. To really listen to someone else validates their experience and them. It says to them: You really matter. You’re worth my time and full attention. I can learn something from you. So, this Thanksgiving I’m really grateful for those people in my life who listen to me and really hear me. And on Friday I want to commit to do the same for them. Why don’t you join me? Forget about going to the mall. Give someone your ear instead. That way when that chorus of Do You Hear What I Hear soon begins playing, you’ll be able to say truthfully, "Yeah, I really do."

To watch Father Beck give the above Reflection, click here.