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July 05, 2009 - Wading Into The River of Resentment

by Father Edward L. Beck, C.P.

There’s a classic Zen story about two celibate monks who were on pilgrimage together. As they approached a raging river they saw a distressed young woman standing on the banks who was afraid to enter the waters. The younger monk picked the woman up, put her on his shoulders, and waded into the waters. The older monk looked on horrified but said nothing. When the three reached the other side the monk put the grateful woman down safely, and the two monks continued on their journey in silence. Hours went by without them speaking. Finally it was obvious that the older monk was angry and disturbed. He looked at the younger monk and said, “How could you have done that?” “Done what?” said the other monk, surprised. “How could you have carried that woman? You know we’re supposed to have nothing to do with women yet you carried her intimately on your shoulders.” “My dear brother,” said the younger monk, “I set that woman down on the shore of the river hours ago. Why are YOU still carrying her?” Funny isn’t it how sometimes our resentments say more about us than the one we may be resenting. When someone does something good or noble, it can disturb us, and we try to pull it down or find fault with it. Maybe they make us feel guilty because they respond in a way that deep down we know we should be. But something blocks us. We resent their freedom so rather than celebrate it we find fault with it. It’s like when the disciples come home to Jesus and say, “Master, we saw a man casting out demons today in your name. But we told him to stop.” And Jesus says, “What did you do that for?” And the disciples say, “Because he wasn’t one of us.” And Jesus says, “So what. Life was flourishing. Good was being done. It doesn’t matter whether or not you were included in it. You dopes.” I paraphrase a bit, but you get the point. So next time when someone else is doing the good or the carrying, lets enter the waters and lend a shoulder with them. Because the waters of resentment are far more treacherous.

To see Father Beck give the above reflection click here: http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=7982028